


Since I've been loving you

by SquirrelWinchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Hurt Dean Winchester, POV Dean Winchester, Possessive Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5455976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquirrelWinchester/pseuds/SquirrelWinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is hurt and he is suffering from the mark, so Sam, desperate to help his brother in any way he can, calls an old friend to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Since I've been loving you

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely written from Dean's POV because I just love Dean feels!

'God she is beautiful' I think to myself as she leans over me and cleans my wounds. Somewhere in my mind I register pain, but it’s bearable, and her beauty isn’t. I close my eyes to savor the feeling of her touch and she holds her breath, thinking that I’m in pain.   
“Sorry” she murmurs, her voice soft, her look warm, and touches me even gentler.   
“Don’t be” I say opening my eyes and loosing myself in the brown depths of hers. “It doesn’t hurt.”   
She smiles softly, caresses my cheek and starts moving away from me. I miss her warmth already and I grab her hand. “Thanks Y/N, I don’t know what we would have done without you.”   
She smiles even wider “Is it the medicine talking or you? And it’s ok Dean, anytime. Just be more careful from now on, will you, please?”   
Her eyes plead mine and I know that I would do anything she asks. “Whatever you say Y/N” I whisper.   
She squeezes my hand gently and walks away “I’ll be back in fifteen. Try to get some rest.” My heart constricts in pain and my eyes follow her leaving figure and stay glued to the door she closes behind her. “Don’t go” my lips whisper on their own will, but she can’t hear me. Suddenly, I feel the pain in my body; my wounds start throbbing and my head hurts like hell. I clench my fists and repeat to myself 'she’ll be back, she’ll be back'. As if she knows how much her absence hurts, she is back even sooner with a glass of orange juice and some more pills.   
“Drink this, it will make you feel better” she says softly and I obey, although I want to tell her that nothing will make me feel better. Only her. But I bite my tongue and just watch her, drink her in. She sits on the chair beside the bed, grabs a book and smiles at me “Now sleep. I’ll be here if you need anything.”   
My eyes droop unwillingly and before I slip under I whisper “You are an angel Y/N. I don’t deserve you” and I’m gone.   
I wake up with a jolt in the middle of the night and my eyes start searching for her frantically. A warm hand grabs mine and I turn around. She is still there, in the chair beside me and my heart melts.   
“It’s ok, Dean, it’s ok, I’m here” she whispers soothingly and just her voice calms my boiling blood.   
I feel the call of the mark, it’s making me edgy and nervous, it’s thirsty for blood and it gets harder to control it every day. That’s how I got myself in this situation, running head on without thinking, driven by the force of it. Instead of doing like Sammy and I agreed, I ran straight into the building, killing everything in my way. But there were just too many demons for me to take on by myself, so one trashed me really hard from one wall to the other. Luckily Sammy was there to save me, again. I refused to go to the hospital, so desperate, he called Y/N for help. She was always willing to help us, no matter how much trouble it brought her every time she did. We have been hunting occasionally together and every time she joined us, she had to save my sorrow ass, or Sammy’s. We owed her our lives more than once, and still, she never hesitated and always came, bringing her smile, her strength, her calm nature with her. I said don’t do it Sammy, but he looked so tired, so desperate and lost, that I just shut up and let him call her. I am becoming too much for him to handle alone and he really needs the help. Cas is here also and helps as much as he can, but he is also lost for words, and he has his own struggles with his fading grace. They don’t know how to help me, and I don’t know how to help myself and it’s all getting out of control. I really hate seeing them like that, my little brother broken, my best friend helpless and it tears at my soul, or at least at what’s left of it, to bring on this suffering to them. But now she is here and everything is easier. After Sammy called, she dropped everything and came immediately. She cleaned and dressed my wounds, stitched my cuts and has never left my side since she is here. 

I hear her talking to Sammy outside my room when they think that I’m sleeping. “How is he?” Sammy asks and she says the wounds are healing.   
“Good” Sammy whispers relieved and then asks again “But, how is he?”   
“I don’t know Sammy, he is too out of it to talk, but every now and then, even when he sleeps he clenches the mark and gasps. I guess he is having nightmares and tries really hard to hide them from us. But he is fighting against it as hard as he can. He is strong, don’t worry. We’ll figure something out before it’s too late again, and he can make it, I know he can.” Her voice never shakes, she really believes in me, and her faith in me, in my broken soul and body gives me a jolt of life that makes even me a believer.   
“Thanks Y/N, for everything” Sammy whispers and I hear his muffled voice full with tears and my eyes water. His sobs turn even quieter and I guess she is hugging him and my fists are clenched around the sheets again. I can’t help it and a growl leaves my throat and she runs in immediately, thinking that I have another nightmare and sits on the bed beside me, wiping my sweat from my forehead. I open my eyes and whisper “Stay here, please” and tap the empty side of the bed beside me. She hesitates for a moment, but then sees my desperate need for her and curls under the covers, her body pressed to my back, her hands on my chest and she exhales deeply, her warm breath caressing my neck. My whole body relaxes at her touch, goose bumps covering it from head to toe and I grab her hand on my chest and intertwine my fingers with hers, binding her to me, afraid that she’ll disappear if I close my eyes. As if she knows she whispers softly, sending a jolt of electricity through me:   
“I’m not going anywhere Dean. I’ll be here as long as you want me, as long as you need me. I promise.”   
Her words are like a litany to me, and I want to turn around and grab her and kiss her and bury myself in her, but the pain meds take over again and I just whisper “forever.” I feel her smile and drift off.  
In the morning she is still there, already awake, sitting in the bed next to me, her head leaning on the headboard, her hand still in mine. I meet her eyes and she gives me the sweetest smile ever, and my face splits in two from grinning.   
“Feeling better I see” she says and I look at our hands and loosen the grip a little, noticing that her fingers are turning a light shade of blue from the strength of mine. I untwine my fingers but don’t let her hand go, just bring it to my lips and kiss it gently, whispering “Sorry about that, and about last night. And thanks Y/N, for staying and for being here and for being you. And no, it’s not the meds talking. It’s me and my wretched soul that are thankful.”   
I look her in the eyes as I speak and I feel her hand that is still close to my lips, stretch towards my face. She lays it gently on my cheek, spreads the fingers and says “You and your wretched soul are very, very important to me, and you never have to say sorry or thanks. For anything. Just get better.”   
My lips burn to kiss her, my whole body clenches and I lean my head towards hers, feeling her breath on my face, gazing at her eyes that are starting to get even darker, but at the last moment she turns slightly to the left and kisses me on the cheek, a long, wet, warm kiss, before she pulls away and stands from the bed. My head falls on the pillows and the pain from her rejection washes all over me, drowning me. I yelp and she hears the sound, so she leans over me and whispers.   
“If I kiss you now Dean Winchester, I don’t know if I can control myself, and you are not healed and still need your rest. So don’t give me that puppy dog look and be good. The faster you heal, the faster you can kiss me.”   
She smirks at my bewildered expression, winks and says “be back in thirty” as she leaves the room. I lay there mesmerized, her words turning in my head, still feeling the warmth from her lips on my cheek. She wants me I repeat to myself over and over again and I feel like a new breath of life is going through my body. Only her smile and her words heal me and I feel that the grip the mark has on me loosens a little, and I breathe more freely. She comes as promised with Sammy and we sit there and talk and laugh and I see the relief on his face as he sees me laughing, and it makes me happy. She gives me small looks and licks her lips unconsciously and I gasp every time I catch her, my eyes darkening from lust and love. That night she curls beside me again, offering me her warmth, her body, her comfort and I sleep more peacefully than I have in a long time. Before I drift off I whisper “I love you” and I’m not sure if she heard me because she doesn’t respond, but her arm tightens around my waist and I’m too far gone, but I swear I feel her lips on the back of my neck.   
In the morning we don’t talk about it; she carries on like every day, changes the bandages, cleans my wounds, brings me food and drinks; Sammy helps me to the bathroom, even in the shower, helps me dress up and as he brings me back to bed I grab him and hug him tightly, whispering “thanks Sammy, for everything” and his eyes water. He smiles warmly at Y/N, pats her on the shoulder and leaves, and I know that he is thankful to her for all the help and he knows that she is responsible for my getting better not just physically, but also mentally. She asks if I need anything and I say “yes, you” and she curls up beside me again and hums me to sleep.

A week passes and I already feel a lot better, I can even walk around the bunker a little, leaning on Sammy or Y/N, and the anticipation tightens my stomach more and more every day that I’m feeling better and stronger. I still remember her promise and I remind her about it gazing at her lips as she speaks or laughs, or drinks. Her cheeks turn a little red and I know that she is thinking about it too. Another week and I’m as good as new. I hold her closer every night as she sleeps next to me, slipping an arm under her head and she leans into my shoulder and stays there the whole night. But I don’t want to do it like that, just jump her. I want to slowly seduce her, to look her in the eyes as she surrenders to me. So one evening Sammy goes to Garth’s to help him on a hunt, and when Y/N slips in the shower, I put music on in the library, dim the bright lights and wait for her. She comes looking for me with her hair still dump, warm and smelly from her shampoo, wearing her usual tank top and short pajamas, bare foot. She sees me in the library and as soon as her eyes meet mine, she knows that I’m going to take her on her promise. She bites her lower lip and approaches me slowly, swaying her hips. I grab her by the waist and whisper “dance with me” as Led Zeppelin sounds around us. “Since I’ve been loving you…” I hum along while we move slowly in circles, her hands on my back, her head buried in my neck. She lifts her eyes to meet mine and I can see my hunger reflected in hers; I can’t wait one more second and crush my mouth to hers, moaning and whispering her name. Her grip on me tightens and she surrenders herself completely, moaning in my mouth as our tongues explore every inch. I pull away breathing heavily, and my lips travel to her neck, down her throat, to her collarbone. She whispers “Dean” wraps her legs around my waist, grips my arms and says “now Dean, please.” I can feel her desperation and need and carry her to my room, not breaking contact with her lips or her skin, lay her on my bed and take off my shirt and my pants and underwear. She does the same as she watches me and I gulp at her gorgeous naked body sprawled there, warm and needy, waiting for me. Desire overwhelms me, and all my resolve to take things slowly and easy vanishes. My eyes darken and I hear her catching her breath as she feels the electricity in the air and I’m lost. I throw myself at her, my hands everywhere: on her breasts, on her hips, on her thighs, between her legs. I caress her warm wetness and she whines loudly, gripping me tighter to her and whispering “fuck me Dean, please, now.” That’s all I need, so I settle between her legs, my cock just inches away from her throbbing pussy. I take her face in my hands and I look her in the eyes, asking her if she is sure that she wants this.   
“Baby?”   
She yelps “Yes Dean, now, please, I need you inside me” and I slowly fill her in, inch by inch, allowing her to get used to my size. She is warm and tight, so tight and she feels so good. She gasps loudly, moves her hips and as I bury myself to the hilt, she lets out the sexiest moan I’ve ever heard. I close my eyes in concentration, holding myself to not come right there and then. She gropes my ass and says “move” and I comply, starting slowly, but increasing the pace with every thrust, lost in the sensation. She meets my thrusts with her hips and rolls them under me, almost making me explode, so I start pounding as hard as I can, and slip my fingers to her clit, pleading “come for me baby, let go.” She clenches tight as her orgasm hits her, screaming loudly, my name mixed with profanities leaving her lips. I growl and come deep inside her, better than I have ever before. We stay clenched together for what seems like eternity, and I never want to leave. As I pull out, she whimpers and I lie down on my back and pull her on me, her body engulfing mine. I watch her flushed face, and wander how the hell did I deserve a woman like her. I ask her the same and she laughs. “I guess we deserve each other. Against all odds we are here, so it has to be faith” she nuzzles my lower lip and I yelp.   
“I love you Y/N, more than I have ever loved any woman before. Please stay longer, or forever”   
“I know” she whispers. “And I love you. More than you’ll ever know. And I need you, although I don’t need anybody. So, I guess you’re stuck with me Winchester” she mocks and I grin as widely as I can.   
“Nothing more I would like to be stuck with” and I start kissing her again, worshiping her body, feeling that this hunger for her will never go away. We make love again, slowly, sweetly and as we both come together, I know that this is it. This is my happy place forever, with Y/N by my side.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


End file.
